What Broke The Unbreakable
by WelcomeToTheTeaParty
Summary: James confesses all to Kendall - everything he's had to endure for half his life. When his Father pushes it too far, James, unable to cope, finally snaps one night; it's up to Kendall to fix him before it's too late... Mentions of abuse and rape. Kendall/James slash.
1. The Revelation

**Part 1 - The Revelation.**

There was nothing odd about the day itself. We spent six hours in the afternoon at Rocque Records rehearsing, all went out for pizza afterwards, then I should've stayed at James' house while his Dad was out drinking; he wouldn't get home until late next morning, like always. That was a typical Friday.

The thing that was odd was the way James was acting. He didn't seem like his normal self. We walked past three mirrors on the way into the recording studio, and he didn't look into a single one.

Then later, when we were eating our pizzas, Carlos jokingly ruffled his hair, and he didn't even go to fix it.

But, what I noticed most was the way he was walking. It was as if he had pains in his sides or something.

What tipped me off was when Logan and I met him and Carlos outside the studio that day. I greeted him with a hug, but pulled away when I heard him wince. I asked him what was wrong, but he said he and Carlos were wrestling, and it got kinda rough. I didn't bother to question him; he'd just get upset.

I didn't buy it.

And I was right not to…

* * *

><p>"Urgh…" Carlos groaned, clutching his stomach, "I should NOT have ordered those two pizzas!"<p>

"The ordering wasn't the problem; you just shouldn't have eaten both of them in less than seven minutes!" Logan laughed, slinging his arm across Carlos' shoulder; his boyfriend could be such an idiot sometimes.

"James, are you okay?" I asked. To me it looked like James was walking… strangely.

"Sure, I'm fine!" he said cheerily, but all too quickly. That piqued my curiosity even more. He was acting strangely today, and I was determined to find out why.

Later that evening, when we were lying on the couch at my house together, me lying on my back, him next to me with his head on my chest, I decided to drop hints into the conversation that I knew something was up. Today James wasn't acting like he usually did, and it worried me that something might be going on that he was keeping from me. I told him everything; surely he could do the same for me in return?

"So," I started, "What did you do last night?"

"Why?"

Why did he have to question me just as I'm about to discretely interrogate him?

"Just curious."

He hesitated, before answering my question, "Nothing much, really. Just watched some TV."

"Cool, what did you watch?" I said, not really believing him.

"Um…" now I know he's lying, he's hesitating for too long, "Just some re-runs of some old shows. I must have been really tired and wasn't paying much attention... I can't really remember exactly what they were. I, um… woke up on the couch… so I must have fallen asleep."

"I suppose your Dad turned the TV off then?"

I'm sure when I mentioned this he visibly stiffened. Why did he stiffen? What had I said?

"Y-yeah… I guess. I don't… remember him coming in…" he muttered the last words, "I'm really tired. Can I crash here with you tonight?" I frowned.

"But it's Friday, I always stay at your place!" I stated.

"Yeah… b-but… my Dad's home tonight!" he blurted out, "… And he says he doesn't want any funny business. We know nothing would happen, but… h-he'll go all ape-shit on us," Did he just stutter? This is my boyfriend, James Diamond. He never stutters unless he's terrified or really upset about something.

"Okay, baby," I said, slowly lifting his head from my chest, signalling for him to stand up, "That's fine with me. Are you feeling alright? You look pale…"

"I'm fine," Again, he was quick with his answers.

He stood and held his arm out to me. I took his hand, letting the tips of my fingers brush against his wrist, under the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt... WOAH, that didn't feel right. James' skin is usually so smooth, but to me the skin felt jagged and rough. I didn't mention anything, thinking it was probably my imagination.

James helped me off the couch and we went upstairs to my room, closing the doors and turning off the lights behind us. I headed to my dresser, pulling out some sweats and t-shirts for James and myself, and handed James the clothes. Strangely, James took himself into my en-suite bathroom, and shut the door behind him. Usually James and I got changed in front of each other, it wasn't a big deal. We were dating; we didn't feel the need to hide ourselves from each other, so why did James suddenly feel the need to change separately?

After realising I was pulling a Logan and was beginning to over-analyse the situation, I stripped myself of my clothes and pulled on the nightwear.

Just as I placed my day clothes into the laundry bin, James came into the room… still wearing his long-sleeved shirt? Okay… that's odd, I swear I gave him a t-shirt, too? Oh well…

"Coming to bed, baby?" he asked me, heavily flopping down on my double bed and scrambling under the covers.

I walked over, got under the covers with him, and allowed him to snuggle up against my side, his head on my chest again.

We laid like that for a while, until I heard him softly snoring. Without really thinking about it, I lifted my hand up to stroke his soft, brunette hair. I pressed a light kiss against the tanned skin on his forehead, smiling to myself as the corners of his mouth turned up; his small smile making him look even more adorable. I was probably still smiling as I drifted off to sleep…

* * *

><p>I woke with a start as I felt James thrashing around beside me in the bed. I glanced at my alarm clock; it read 02:57 a.m., way too early for James to be awake! I quickly turned over and took in the sight of him.<p>

Sweat covered my beautiful boy's forehead, making his bangs stick to his face. His breathing was ragged and every now and then he would let out a whimper.

I couldn't just sit by and watch my baby go through what must be a horrible nightmare. I quickly sat up and clambered over to him. I held his heated body in my arms and tried to shake him awake.

"James!" I whispered loudly, not wanting to wake my Mom and Katie, "James, baby! Please wake up! JAMES!" I spoke louder, shaking his shoulders in an attempt to wake him up.

His eyes shot open, he sat up and let out a silent scream. His eyes managed to focus after a few seconds and as soon as he saw me he let out a strangled sob and began to cry.

"Hey! Hey… it's okay, Jamie. I'm here…" I soothed, pulling him into a tight hug, and began to rub his back.

"You're alive…" I heard him mutter.

_Did he dream…? Oh shit…_

"It's okay, Jamie; I'm not going anywhere…" I slowly broke our embrace, lifted his chin up and pressed a, hopefully, comforting kiss to his wet lips. I pulled back and looked into his watery eyes, and repeated my last words.

"I'm not going anywhere…" I said as I placed my hand across his forehead, feeling for his temperature. He wasn't too hot, maybe a little sweaty.

Without asking and waiting for an answer, I brought my hands to the front of his shirt and lifted the thin, dark material from his body.

He made no noise of protest, but a small whimper passed his lips. He sounded like he was in pain. I looked back up to his face and noticed a fat, hot, lone tear run freely down his flushed cheek. I noticed why...

All across his perfectly sculpted abs... his waist, his arms...

Bruises. Black and blue. Green and purple. Sickly slashes littered his golden skin, as well as scratches and... bite marks?

_Now I understand why he was walking strangely..._, I thought to myself.

"You were in pain..." I voiced, gently drawing him down towards the bed, allowing him to lay on me, using my chest as a pillow.

I watched him as he fell asleep. He looked so peaceful. There was no way such injuries could possibly be related to something as beautiful as James.

But they were, so the question remained on my mind:

_Why?_

* * *

><p>After finally getting to sleep that night, I woke up again at around 4 a.m. to see James pacing across my bedroom floor. I slowly sat up, rubbed my eyes, and coughed to get his attention. He jumped a little; I'd obviously startled him. His head snapped in my direction. That's when I noticed the tears streaming down his flushed cheeks.<p>

I quickly scrambled my way out of bed, ran over to my boyfriend and threw my arms around him. I knew James; it's rare moments like these, when he cries, that he needs comforting. I felt him bury his face in the crook of my neck, and felt his hot tears roll across my shoulder.

"… That wasn't the first time that's happened, is it?" I asked, referring the nightmare he had barely an hour ago, only to be answered by loader cries, and muffled sniffs.

After about five minutes of standing like this, I pulled away. James' crying has ceased, but his beautiful face was tear-stained and red.

"Make it stop..." he mumbled.

_What?_

"Jamie… make what stop?" I was _seriously_ worried at this point.

He struggled in my grip, bringing his left arm up into my view…

"Oh, baby…" I carefully took his hand, pressing a kiss to his rough, scarred, cut wrist. I looked up into his watery eyes, "James, tell me what's wrong… please..." my voice cracked.

I took both of his hands in mine and softly rubbed his knuckles with my thumbs, "Please…" I repeated. I was crying too now. It was heartbreaking knowing my baby was doing this to himself.

"Okay…" he said in a small voice, and began leading me towards the bed.

We sat down, and he took a deep breath…

"It's like this," he choked out, "You know whenever you come to my house, on Fridays, my Dad's never there?" I nodded in response. Slowly, he lifted his head and looked me in the eyes. I saw it: the desperation and the pleading in his beautiful hazel orbs. It clicked in my head. _His Dad..._

He began crying again, so I held one of his hands and used my other hand to rub his back in small circles. This seemed to encourage him to go on.

"I never wanted you to know what happens in that house, so I always had you over when I knew he wouldn't be there. So he wouldn't assume… I told you. So there wouldn't be… more punishment…" James let out a loud, strangled sob and smothered his face in my neck.

"Hey! Shhh… it's okay," I lifted his head off my shoulder, starting to gently rub his shoulders. I looked him directly in the eye, "What punishment?" I asked, slightly confused, but still worried.

"My Dad…" he angrily scraped the tears from under his eyes with the back of his hand, and continued, "When I was younger… he used to tell me things… things I was supposed to keep a secret between me and him. I was eight years old… I didn't know any better. He told me all this, and kept telling me… I was too weak to stop any of it. At first it was… it was just… the hitting…"

"What?" I whisper-shouted, not loud enough to wake mom and Katie, but loud enough to express my shock.

_He hit my Jamie?_

"… Then, when I was t-ten… that was the f-first time… he… d-did... _things_ to m-me…" he stuttered, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his fists.

_Shit…_

"No. James… no… no!" I shook my head, finding it so hard to believe. But I knew James would never lie about this.

Did his Dad really… _steal his innocence?_

I cried with him, took his upper body in my arms and brought him tightly to my chest. His breathing became ragged, and then came the coughing…

"Shit… are you gonna…?" _...Puke?_

"Uh-huh…" he pulled away from me and put an arm across his stomach and a hand over his mouth. I hurriedly helped him to his feet and practically dragged him in the direction of my bathroom. His body slumped in front of the sink, his hands clutching the sides of the basin as he vomited. It was obvious he'd never told anyone this. But if this started when he was eight… _half his life_ he'd put up with that bastard doing this to him. And he'd kept quiet about it the whole time? Shit… even though he'd been through all this… this… this _bullshit..._ he still had to be the strongest person I knew.

James turned around and slumped to the floor, his shaking arm reaching out and snatching some toilet paper. He wiped his mouth and continued sobbing. I crouched down next to him and pulled him slightly towards me, so his head was resting on my shoulder.

After a few minutes he looked up into my eyes.

"Please... please don't tell anyone…?" it was definitely a question, "… Not yet, anyway?"

I knew it was going to kill me inside, but I nodded in agreement.

I just held him against my side until his crying stopped and his breathing evened out.

Slowly, we stood up, with me still supporting him, and we made our way back to my bed. I laid him down, very carefully, as if I was afraid he would break in half. Although mentally he probably had.

"Do you wanna take the bed to yourself? I can go on the sofa, if you want…" I wasn't sure if he wanted to be alone or not.

"No! Please… stay with me? I love you… I _need_ you… please don't leave me…" he reached over and clawed at the front of my t-shirt.

So I crawled into the bed next to him, wrapping my arms around his delicate frame, allowing my fingertis to gently stroke the bare skin of his shoulders.

"I love you, too, baby..." I whispered softly back to him, stroking his dishevelled hair.

He clung to me like a limpet. As much as I hated breaking a promise, especially with James, I didn't know if keeping quiet was the best thing to do…

* * *

><p>Eventually morning came, and James was still asleep when I woke up.<p>

Then I remembered what he told me last night.

I began quietly crying again. My poor, poor baby had been through so much… how did I not notice? I was so angry with myself. If I knew what was happening, I could've stopped it…

Now was my chance to put things right for him.

I quietly got out of bed, changed into jeans and a t-shirt, and walked down the stairs into the kitchen. I glanced in the hallway mirror on my way down; I looked like a wreck from crying, but I didn't care. As long as my face wasn't still tear-stained, so my mom wouldn't get suspicious, I'd be okay.

Quickly running my fingers through my hair and wiping under my eyes with the hem of my t-shirt, I stepped into the kitchen of the Knight family home in Los Angeles. All our families moved out here so we could all live together as families like we used to - apartment 2J was getting a little crowded. Well, all except James' Mom, who was too busy with her cosmetics business to consider moving out here to be with her _one and only son_.

"Why are you here? I thought you'd be at James' place? Has something happened?" Katie began with her questions. She was sat at the table, chomping on her pancakes.

"Katie, it's early. I doubt Kendall really wants to play 20 questions." Mom always knew the _exact opposite_ of what I wanted. I wanted to spill my guts and say that James' Dad has been abusing him since he was eight and molesting him since he was ten. I wanted to save him from ever having to go through that again. I wanted to tell her I was here because James asked to stay over here last night, and that we couldn't go to James' house because his Dad was a filthy, dirty, evil RAPIST, and that _YES SOMETHING HAPPENE_D!

"Sorry, I guess…" Katie muttered, looking down at her pancakes and shoving another banana piece into her mouth.

I let out a loud sigh and sat at the table opposite Katie. Mom slid a bowl of cornflakes in my direction. I quietly thanked her and got lost in my thoughts.

_My thoughts about James…_

What did this mean for our relationship? For me, one of the most important things in any relationship is trust. I've been able to trust him from the moment I met him when we were both five. And, if James was able to tell me what he did, he had to trust me, right? I just needed to help him out of this… this _hellhole_ first.

I decided that, no matter what happened, I couldn't, wouldn't, and didn't want to _ever_ stop loving him. He was my whole world. I just needed to figure out how I could help him…

"For goodness' sake, KENDALL! I'm talking to you!" Mom yelled at me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Shhh! James is upstairs! You'll wake him!" I whisper-shouted back at her.

"What? Why is James here?"

"He… wasn't feeling too well last night, so I let him crash here. He's okay now, though!"

After a few minutes of negotiating with Mom that James was _not_ ill and didn't need a thermometer shoved under his tongue and a hot water bottle practically glued to his chest, I went back up the stairs to my room.

I crept into my bedroom, closing the door behind me and stared at my gorgeous, still sleeping angel. He must have tired himself out with all the crying last night.

_Why would anyone in their right mind want to hurt him?_

That thought made me come to my conclusion; his… whatever the fuck he was supposed to be, wasn't in his right mind. He didn't have any right to call himself a father.

_James deserves so much better…_

* * *

><p><strong><em>I hope this doesn't offend anyone; if it does, I'm sorry, I didn't set out to do that. I was discussing this idea with a friend and we weren't sure how to handle the situation without causing upset, and this is what she helped me produce.<br>_**


	2. Fix You

**Chapter 2 - Fix You.**

_(Kendall's POV)_

It was now noon, and James was finally up. As soon as he began to stir I was over by him, wrapping my arms around his delicate frame, holding him close to me, hugging him awake. He returned the hug, burying his head into my chest, and sighed.

"... Are you feeling OK?" I asked.

"Mhm..." he groaned into my t-shirt, pulling back then leaning up to kiss me. I didn't mind the slight smell of morning breath at all, I just kissed him back.

"I am now," he smiled up at me. But his smile... wasn't the same as it used to be. His eyes weren't... smiling. They'd lost most of the usual mischievous sparkle they usually had, but they were still more alive than they were last night when my poor baby was crying his heart out. It made me sad to think about him like that.

"Mom knows you're here... she's made us breakfast," I tried lightening the mood a little. It just worked.

"Yay!" he grinned, pulling the covers from himself and climbing out of bed. He picked up his clothes that he had left at the foot of my bed and started walking over to my bathroom.

"James?" I called out. He stopped and turned towards me.

"Yea?" he spoke softly. It broke my heart to hear him so shattered, so sad, so... broken.

"You don't have to go into the bathroom, remember? I know..." I stepped towards him, "And you don't have to hide from me." He looked down at his already half-naked form, a cherry red blush creeping up his neck.

I placed my hand on his check, smiling sadly when he leaned into my touch. He covered my hand with his own, looking me in the eye.

"Thank you," he emitted a barely audible whisper, only just loud enough for me to hear it; I slowly leaned up and lightly pecked a kiss to his soft lips.

"I love you..." I murmured against his mouth, the feeling of his hot breath on my lips making me shiver.

"I love you, too..." he replied, his lips descending on mine in a mixture of passion and desperation. As the kiss intensified, I had to restrain myself by reluctantly pulling away, making him emit a small whimper. It broke my heart.

As I stared into his beautiful hazel eyes, the difference became even clearer.

There was no sparkle. No joy. No intense shine, glimmer or glow. And I couldn't help but feel as through this entire situation was somehow my fault.

_If I'd known..._

"Kendall?" his voice was soft and raspy. His call shook me out of my morbid thoughts.

"Yes?" I whispered back.

"What am I going to do?" my poor darling looked close to tears yet again.

"... Don't you mean what are we going to do?" he looked confused at my question, so I continued, "I'm not going to let you go through this alone again, Jamie. Never..." I nipped his lips lightly, "Ever..." and again, "Again..." I pressed my lips against his for a final time before gently cascading my fingers down the soft skin of his cheek before turning and reaching for the jeans that I wore yesterday that were sprawled at the foot of my bed, lying amongst my t-shirt and my favourite plaid shirt. Well, our favourite. James had bought it for me during the first week of our tour a while back. It's been my favourite ever since. It's red. We both love that colour.

I heard him sigh gently before he too moved to pick up his clothes from on top of my dresser.

* * *

><p>After finishing dressing, and brushing our teeth and combing our hair and such (with James taking a rare day out on his hair schedule), we went downstairs into the kitchen to find my Mom and Katie were already gone, since Mom was taking Katie for a commercial audition today. I poured some cereal and milk into a bowl for James and handed it to him along with a spoon. He thanked me and went about eating.<p>

I couldn't keep my thoughts away from it. I knew what I had to do. OK... maybe I didn't exactly know what the best thing would be to do in this situation but, hey, I'm an impulsive person, and my first instinct is the only one that has a voice right now.

I would do it. Today...

_Knock knock knock... KNOCK!_

That was the 'Carlos' signal knock, to let us know that it was him at the door.

"COME IN!" I called out, hearing the heavy front door creak open, a few shuffling sounds, followed by another creak and a slam.

"HIYA!" two voices called out in reply. Obviously Logan was here as well as Carlos.

"So... you guys ready to go?" Logan asked as he and our fellow Latino friend cheerily walked into the kitchen to join us. Their current cheery disposition seemed so out of place following the eerie atmosphere that lingered about James and me before they arrived - it did not seem right at all.

"Yea... you ready, Kendall?" James asked, looking at me. To their surprise and confusion, I shook my head.

"Nah... I've got to go and run a few... errands for Mom and Katie while they're out. Gustavo shouldn't mind, right?" I spoke strongly and evenly, a fake, cheery grin plastered across my face, trying to mask what I was really thinking of doing behind a mask of my usual confident personality.

I guess they bought it. For the most part...

"A-are you sure?" James asked. I knew I was upsetting him by leaving him to get on with the day alone after last night's dramas, but he'd be OK as long as Logie and Carlitos were with him.

"Yea... sorry baby, it's important," I gave a small shrug while Logan rattled the keys that were in his hand.

"Well Jamie-boy, get your jacket- CARLOS!" Logan shouted at the shorter boy.

"WHAT?" Carlos demanded.

"Get your hands OFF James' cereal!"

"Yea, I haven't finished yet!" James whined.

"Oh... oops, sorry James..." Carlos muttered sheepishly, "I haven't eaten much today..."

"Carlos, really? I cooked you a HUGE breakfast this morning!" Logan spoke exasperatedly.

"But I'm still hungry!" Carlos wailed.

"You and that bottomless pit you call a stomach..." James laughed light-heartedly at Carlos, shaking his head, letting his bangs fall into his eyes.

_Well, at least he's smiling now_, I thought to myself, discreetly looking to my left at the key in the bowl at the end of the kitchen counter...

"Well, I guess I'll see you later, Kendall," James said, leaning towards me and pecking me on the cheek. I smiled a little at the affectionate action, watching as my three friends left my house, calling a sequence of goodbye's as they went out the front door.

Letting out the breath I don't even know why I was holding, I turned and reached out my left arm, grabbing the key I needed and went to the window.

I waited patiently for a few minutes, watching the car I my driveway as my friends, and boyfriend, buckled their seatbelts, and as Logan pulled out and sped down the road towards Rocque Records. Closing my eyes and sucking in a breath, I spoke aloud to myself...

"It's time..."

* * *

><p><em>(3rd person)<em>

Switching off the engine of his car and taking the key out of the ignition, the blonde leader stepped out of the car and began the short walk up the garden path of his destination.

A lone house in the middle of a field, away from the city in a nice, quiet, secluded area. It was very pretty there: the outside walls were painted a nice, crisp white, and the path was lined with rows of roses.

_James' Mom's favourite flower_, Kendall noted.

As he approached the familiar dark wooden door of the house, he wasted no time in trying said door - mouthing "Yes!" when he found it open - and inviting himself into the house. Kendall tiptoed across the familiar carpet of the hallway, peering around the corner of the doorframe into the familiar front room. Noticing the empty state of the mocha colour-schemed room, he took a few steps inside, moving his head about to take in all the familiar pictures that stood in frames dotted around. After a first hockey game, placed on the mantelpiece, alongside an adorable picture of a first birthday; at an Aunt's wedding; at a best friend's bedside after said best friend broke their arm in their first daring stunt. Although all these familiar pictures brought small tears into the corners of Kendall's eyes, one - very small and barely noticeable - photograph stood out the most to Kendall, forcing the collection of tears to cascade down the blonde's face.

It was the picture of him and James lost in their first kiss.

He remembered the day Carlos had very sneakily taken it, and ended up giving it to James on his next birthday as one of his presents...

* * *

><p>(Flashback)<p>

"_I can't believe it!"_

"_We won!"_

"_YEEESSS!"_

"_Guys! Calm down! We've only... won a hockey game for our team for the first time in HISTORY! Alright!" the 15 year old blonde boy cheered along with this three best friends as they practically bounced through the front door of James' house in the suburbs of a small town in Minnesota. They had - finally! - won a hockey match for their school! All the training, and the blows to their ego when they were, for lack of a better word, _thrashed_ by their fellow school hockey teams, they had finally pulled a win out of the bag._

"_Man, did you SEE the look on their faces when they lost? It almost makes losing for the past two years totally worth it!" James announced, punching a fist into the air as Carlos tackled the taller brunette into a huge bear hug._

"_We won!" the Latino bellowed again, as he and James jumping up and down in excitement. Kendall smiled and shook his head at his friends' child-like behaviour, suddenly distracted by Logan who high-fived him and brought him into a man-hug._

"_What's all the screaming about?" a shrill voice yelled out. The four boys swung their bodies around to face the older female woman standing in the doorframe of the kitchen._

"_Mom..." James started, only to be cut off by his Mother._

"_Oh yea, it was your hockey game today, right?" she sounded bored, like she was expecting James to tell her that they'd lost again, "How did you do?"_

"_... Well..." a smile crept over all the boys' faces, "WE WON, MOM!" James' Mother's face lit up in surprise and happiness for her son and his best friends._

"_Really?" she practically squealed, "Oh, James, that's brilliant! Well done!" she moved forward to bring her son into an embrace, a rare thing in their household. It only happened a very few times each year, then her son did something extremely impressive, on his birthday, and on her birthday if she had gotten her something sparkly and expensive-looking. Sure, she may be a little materialistic... or a lot... but she was still very proud of James - given the school's history in hockey, this was a big achievement for them._

"_Thanks, Mom! Well, actually it's all Kendall's doing - he scored the winning goal!"_

"_Oh come on James, I would've been flattened or crushed into a pulp by that HUGE guy coming at me if you didn't come in and save my sorry butt!" Kendall countered, as James turned from his Mother to hug his closest friend. The blonde hugged him back._

"_Well, either way that is _fantastic_, boys! Anyways, I'd better make some dinner. You boys are staying, right?" Brooke Diamond directed he question to Logan, Carlos and Kendall._

"_Yes please, Mrs Diamond!" they all chirped, eerily in sync with each other. The three boys glanced to one another and laughed lightly. James rolled his eyes._

_As Brooke smiled at the teenagers and walked back into the kitchen, Carlos announced he needed to pee. At the same time Logan did. So, as the two elder members of the teen quartet fought the whole way up the stairs, James and Kendall went into the living room and sat side by side on the couch._

_... And James was suddenly very aware of how close he was to his blonde bestie._

_Daring to glimpse at him, James cast his eyes in Kendall's direction, taking the sight of him in: the curve of his pink, juicy lips, his sculpted and defined cheekbones, and the upward curl of his eyelashes. But most of all, the piercing jade green shade of his captivating eyes. Kendall's eyes were very temperamental to James - always changing shade to match the mood that their holder was in. When Kendall was sad, the shade of green seemed to go all misty and smoky, and would visibly dull; when Kendall was happy or content, they were a bottle green shade. But this - James had _never_ seen his eyes so bright before. The pretty boy wondered what his friend might be feeling, or thinking, in that moment. He was so lost in the eyes that had this enchanting spell on him that he didn't really register that they had turned to face him. Or that the full lips he'd daydreamed about so many times were emitting words._

_Oh... wasn't it obvious that James had had a crush on Kendall since forever?_

"_Huh?" James asked, confused and shaking his head to rid it of the thought he was just having. Kendall rolled his eyes playfully._

"_I said, 'Why were you looking at me like that?'" his voice was soft and mysterious._

"_Um... I don't know..." James blushed, trailing off and looking down into his lap._

"_Yes you do! Come on," Kendall coaxed, hooking his finger under James' chin and lightly turned his face so they could lock eyes. Again._

"_Tell me..." whoa, was it James, or did his voice just sound very deep and sexy?_

It's just me..._, James thought to himself,_ Kendall would never like someone like me... he's sweet, and kind, and beautiful and I'm just some narcissistic fool in way over his head.

"_D-do you... like me, o-or something?" his voice went quiet again, and this time he blushed and averted his eyes, his confidence long forgotten - just when he needed it the most! He glanced back up at James with an unreadable expression._

_This gave James a flicker of hope. Did Kendall perhaps like him back?_

_Mustering up at much courage as he could, James sucked in a breath, and turned to, once again, lock eyes with Kendall._

"_Yes," he said firmly, "Yes, Kendall, of course I do!" he watched as Kendall broke into a goofy grin, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared._

"_Really?" he sounded almost desperate, "Don't just tell me that because you think it's what I want to hear_... _James... I don't _like_ you. No... it's too far gone to just be a simple crush like back on the playground. It's love," he laughed once, very softly, "It has to be. I've never felt this way about anyone!" he took James' cold - from the snow - hands into his own warm ones, almost sweating with anticipation as to what might happen next, "I really do love you James. Please... tell me the truth?" he pleaded, jade eyes beginning to dull - most likely with the thought of being rejected - and James was quick to stop the greying process._

"_Kendall, have you really been that oblivious? Of _course_ I love you! I always have, and always will," he finished off more quietly and more sincerely, adjusting the position of his hands in Kendall's so he could stroke the blonde's knuckles with his thumbs._

_I smile tugged at the corners of James' lips as he marvelled in the way Kendall's eyes began brightening again._

"_Then..." Kendall blushed yet again, "... Can I kiss you?" James' smile widened._

"_Please..." the taller lightly bit his bottom lip, beginning to blush also._

_Nervously, but excitedly at the same time, Kendall began to lean his head forward, James doing the same, fluttered his eyes shut, and let what happened, happen..._

_Their lips met sweetly, only lightly brushing against each other's before pressing, and feeling. Feeling all the sparks, the fireworks, and every other cliché first kiss scenario. But they were all true and all oh-so amazing. Just like how they felt right now - on cloud nine. They began moving their lips in sync with one another, the tips of tongues poking out every now and again. It was nothing too full on; just sweet and love-filled - just like a first kiss should be._

"_Aww... that's a cute one!" they heard a voice murmur, before a sound of a hit was heard following it.._

"_Ow!" that was even louder. The two engrossed teens reluctantly pulled apart, smiling shyly at each other before slowly turning their heads towards the direction on the noise._

_Logan and Carlos were standing across the room in the living room doorway, Logan rubbing the back of his head while Carlos grinned at whatever picture was on the camera. Wait, camera?!_

"_Y-you just saw that, didn't you?" James asked, feeling sheepish as he blushed for what felt like the millionth time that day. Carlos simply nodded and grinned._

"_So..." Kendall stood up from the couch, and faced his Latino friend, "You gonna give us that picture before you do something potentially idiotic with it?" he asked very sweetly and sarcastically._

"_Um..." Carlos seemed to think about it, "...NO!" he laughed, before a look of mock terror came across his face as Kendall pounced on Carlos and wrestled with him on the ground for the camera. Logan chuckled at the sight, before joining James on the couch. But not before fist bumping his pal and telling him how happy he was for him that he'd found love._

_James could only hope at this stage that this was the start of a new stage in his life. He could only hope..._

(End Flashback)

* * *

><p>Aggressively scrubbing at his cheeks with his sleeve, Kendall silently cursed himself for being so sappy about what was simply a memory. He couldn't help it - he just loved James so much.<p>

_James..._

That's what brought him back to his current predicament, and he remembered what he came here to do...

Taking hold of that one picture and putting it inside his jacket pocket for safety, he began making his way around the room, heading over to every picture with _him_ in it... and smashing it. Against the wall, against the floor, and against other pictures until every trace of that evil man was gone in Kendall's eyes.

"What the fuck is going on?" a booming voice yelled out, followed by the sound of heavy, uneven footsteps crashing down the stairs. Kendall stopped in his tracks, spun to face the bottom of the stairs, and froze as Mr Diamond appeared at the bottom of them.

"M-Mr Diamond..."

"What the heck have you done?" he shrieked in a very un-manly fashion, glancing around the room at all the smashed photo frames before his eyes darted back to Kendall.

Kendall didn't think he'd be in!

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, and Kendall now noticed the man was carrying a... baseball bat?

_Oh shit..._

As the man, who was a good foot and a half taller than Kendall, barrelled towards the blonde, his quick reactions from hockey came in handy as he dodged what would've been a very painful blow and watched as Mr Diamond ran headfirst straight into the mocha coloured wall, suddenly jerking his body away from it as he began slurring obscenities at the teenager.

_He's drunk_, Kendall thought, as the older man came at him once again...

After a tussle, a throwing away of the baseball bat and a blow to the head with a lamp, Mr Diamond eventually collapsed on the floor, a lump beginning to form on his forehead. Kendall took this as his chance to do what he came to do. He ran upstairs and into James' room, hurriedly packing everything from clothes to Cuda products into duffle bags and holdalls.

As Kendall made his way down the stairs again, he took the chance to take in the man slumped out cold on the floor.

"Pathetic," said Kendall, as he walked out of the front door again... not noticing James' Father begin to stir on the floor...

* * *

><p>"Sorry I'm late, Gustavo!" Kendall yelled as he dumped all of the bags on the white couch in the main room of Rocque Records' studio, then he ran into the recording studio to join the rest of his band, and his best friends... and boyfriend.<p>

"About time too, dog! WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?" Gustavo's voice bellowed at him.

"Sorry! Family business..." Kendall said sheepishly, as he grabbed a pair of headphones and greeted James with a peck on the cheek. James blushed lightly at the action.

"Well, now you're here... HARMONIES! 'Oh Yeah'! Now!" Gustavo waved his hands in front of his face before leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. Kelly, who, as always, was standing behind him, rolled her eyes as the boys began to sing.

* * *

><p>After hours of harmonising, four to be exact, James was relieved then he could finally take a bathroom break.<p>

Coming out of the cubicle, James made to step towards the sinks, but was frozen to the spot by the harsh gaze of a rough-looking figure standing slightly hunched before him.

"Dad..." James breathed.

"James..." he said, before launching his hand forward so quickly that even James' hockey reflexes couldn't have seen it coming. Pale, bony fingers wrapped their way around the pretty boys neck, gripping so tightly that James started to merge to an unsightly shade of purple almost instantly. James began trying and trying to scream, only once letting out a noise that sounded remotely like a scream, before black spots began to take over his eyesight and he felt his body go limp.

He began closing his eyes, only registering a banging noise and a broken scream of 'James!' before he let sleep consume him...

* * *

><p>"<em>Lights will guide you home,<em>

_And ignite your bones,_

_And I will try... to fix you..."_

The first thing James realised when he woke up is that the bed he is in is very uncomfortable, much like a hospital bed. The second thing he registers is that he is, in fact, in a hospital. The third thing he notices is the angelic voice singing one of his favourite songs to him. Coldplay's 'Fix You'.

"K-Kendall..." he muttered trying to get the blonde boy's attention. Kendall's head snapped up at the sound of his name, and James noticed the tears running down his love's face.

"James, I'm so sorry!" he said, sounding broken as he launched himself into James' embrace, "I said I'd protect you! That he wouldn't hurt you again but I failed! I let you down!"

"Kendall, you're crushing me!" James choked out. Kendall retreated.

"Sorry... I just missed you is all," Kendall said quietly. He looked up into James' eyes, "They arrested him. For attempted murder. James he was _choking_ you..."

James breathed out a sigh of relief. Even though the man was his Ftaher, he hated him. Hated him with all he had for what the monster did to him.

"Thank goodness," he breathed.

"I'm gonna help you, James" Kendall said firmly, "I'm gonna help you stop cutting. And help you forget, and..." he paused a moment...

"... I'm gonna fix you."

* * *

><strong>No copyright infringement intended from my use of 'Fix You' (by Coldplay).<strong>

**Again, I apologise if I've offended anyone up to this point; however, things only go up from here for the characters.**

**In addition, I'm sorry for switching the point of view halfway through this chapter: I'm used to writing in the 3rd person and didn't notice it'd changed until I read it back to myself, and I wasn't sure how I could make what happened work from just Kendall's point of view, so I didn't bother to change it.**

**Also, sorry for the cheesiness of the flashback...**


	3. Moving On

**Chapter 3 - Moving On.**

(_3rd person_)

-One month later-

"He's pleading guilty?" James asked Kelly disbelievingly. She'd just told him the news that his Father was going to accept his punishment for his awful treatment of James.

"Yea, James, and he's being set up for at least 20 years in jail..." Kelly answered, noting something down on her clipboard that she constantly carried around with her.

"Why would he be doing that? I mean... neighbours have almost caught on before, and my Dad's always been able to wiggle out of police business one way or another..."

"James is right," Kendall, who was sat in the studio next to James with the rest of Big Time Rush, plus Gustavo, Kelly and Griffin, piped up, "You didn't see what he was like - what he's capable of..."

"He's not the type of person to give up so fast like that!" James argued.

"Well, apparently he is..." Gustavo dismissed, holding his arms out as if to say 'What can ya do?'

"James, just think about this..." Logan tried to reason, "He _knows_ he can't win, so he's giving up. This is good!"

"Way good!" Carlos added, "James, you'll finally be _free_!"

"I'll never be free as long as he's alive..." James muttered, just loud enough for everyone to hear, before he quickly got to his feel and left the room. Kendall opened his mouth to speak.

"NO! Kendall we are NOT. Killing. Him," Kelly said sternly.

Kendall shut his mouth.

* * *

><p>James walked through the door to the bathroom. This was the place where he had last seen his Dad. That was eight days ago.<p>

He walked over to one of the three sinks and ran the cold tap, cupping his hands under the running water to collect some. Splashing his face with the ice cool droplets, he let his mind float back to the previous week's events...

"James..." Kendall's voice.

"_James_..." the gruff sound of his Father's voice.

"James..."

"_James_..."

"James?"

"_James_..."

SLAM!

"James!"

James hadn't realised that he had collapsed to the floor, and was currently rocking back and forth, muttering "Kendall, Kendall, Kendall..." over and over again. Said blonde, who had burst through the door in his search for his boyfriend, rushed over and instantly wrapped his arms around James' shaking, cold body. James buried his face into Kendall's shoulder and just kept crying.

"I'm here, James. I'm here..."

They stayed in that position until James' sobs turned into little hiccups. Kendall slowly pulled away and changed from his crouched position to a more comfortable sitting position.

"...Kelly won't let me kill him." Kendall came out with.

James chuckled, "It was a nice idea, though."

"Thanks," Kendall smiled weakly. He looked into James' eyes, the dullness hiding the shine again, "Are you OK, now? You think you can come back?" James sighed in response.

"Can't we just go home?" he pleaded, reaching out to take hold of Kendall's larger, paler hand.

"Of course we can..."

* * *

><p><em>-One year &amp; 7 months later-<em>

He thought that today would be a difficult day for James. He thought the day would be filled with tears and comforting hugs and kisses.

He did not expect him to go missing altogether.

He immediately took to ringing Carlos and Logan in case he'd gone to either of their houses, but he hadn't. He'd rung his Mother, just in case James had, for some strange reason, gone over there, but he hadn't. He'd even gone to the Palmwoods and asked his friends, Jo, Camille, Tyler, Guitar Dude, and Bitters.

No sign of James.

Finally, at six that evening, he saw it - the hunched male figure sitting on the roof at the Palmwoods.

Kendall cursed under his breath before running back inside. After impatiently pressing the elevator button about twenty times, the doors opened on his floor, and luckily there was no one else inside the small room.

The ride up to the top floor seemed to drag on forever. And Kendall wasn't the most patient of people.

"Come on, come on, COME ON!" he yelled at the ceiling, as if the source of his problems lay there.

Finally, the elevator dinged, and Kendall waited for the doors to slide open just enough for him to squeeze through, before he rushed towards the stairs that took him from the Palmwoods top floor up to the roof.

Taking the few steps two at a time, Kendall slammed his hand down on the door handle and roughly pushed it open, and he stumbled out onto the concrete floor of the roof, almost slipping over in the process.

"It's a nice view, right?" the monotone sound caught Kendall's attention. He slowly walked over and sat next to James.

"It is..." he said, almost as plainly as James. The brunette sighed.

"I'm sorry. I should've called..."

"Yea, you should've," Kendall snapped. James flinched slightly. The blonde exhaled slowly and wrapped a strong arm around James' shoulders, "But I don't blame you for wanting to be alone. I don't think there would've been anything I could've done anyway... but I'm here for you now," he gave a small smile and looked down at James, who had his eyes closed.

"You haven't been the same since then. It's been a whole year since you've been the old bubbly, slightly self-obsessed diva I fell for," Kendall smirked. James moved out of his grip.

"I am not self-obsessed!" he protested, but couldn't help the smile that crept across his face. Kendall laughed lightly.

"There's that smile I love!" James blushed, before turning his gaze back to the sunset.

"...I think it's only just hit me..."

"What has?" Kendall asked.

"Remember I said I'd never be free as long as he was alive?"

A look of realisation crossed Kendall's features.

"...I've been free for a year today..." James smiled again, before snuggling up to Kendall's side.

6 months after the jury had found him guilty, James' Father had killed himself in prison; that was one year ago.

Kendall had to ruin it, "Technically being free would mean you were single, and you've been with me this whole time so..."

"Shut up," James giggled, before looking Kendall in the eye, "I _know_ you'd never hurt me..."

"Good," Kendall whispered, before leaning down to capture James' lips in a slow, loving kiss.

"I love you... so, so much," James muttered against his boyfriends lips.

"Me too, Jamesy, me too..."

Then James felt a hand gently push at his stomach. Pulling away, he looked at Kendall, puzzled.

"Wha-"

"Marry me?" Kendall looked at him, wide-eyed and vulnerable as the words spilled from his mouth.

James' jaw dropped.

"What?"

"Shit, I didn't do that right," Kendall shook his head before taking hold of James' hands.

"I was going to do this properly... the ring's at home..."

"You got me a ring?" James whispered, still slightly in shock.

"Of course I did! Anyway, I've been thinking about it for some time, I got the ring two weeks ago, and I've been working up the courage to ask you, but no moment seemed to be the right moment. But I guess this moment was right. You're free James, but I don't want you to be free on your own... if that makes sense..." James laughed, his bright smile and wet eyes making Kendall laugh too.

"I love you so much, and I know we're only young, but... I _know_ I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to protect you, forever and always, I want you to be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up, as cheesy as it sounds; I want to get a puppy and let you name him; I want to move into a gorgeous two storey house with you with one of those cliché white picket fences. Who knows, maybe in the future we could have mini you's and mini me's running around causing chaos. I want to build a future for us James... and all you have to do is say no... or yes..."

James studied Kendall's face. He looked so nervous; James could see a slight sheen on his forehead, tears being blinked back, and teeth worrying a bottom lip.

James breathed out slowly, before giving the love of his life a watery smile and nodding furiously.

"YES!" he yelled, before throwing his arms around Kendall's neck and planting kisses all over his face.

...Too bad Carlos had to decide to ring Kendall at that moment and interrupt.

"Hello?"

"DID YOU FIND HIM?!"

"One: OW! And two: yes, he's here, he's fine, and you know that question I _know_ Logan told you I was going to ask him?"

"Sorry!" Kendall heard Logan call in the background. He smiled to himself.

"Yea? What about it? Did you ask?!"

"Yes..."

"AND?! What did he _say_?!" James, who could hear Carlos' shouts a mile off, took the phone from Kendall.

"...I said yes!"

The two were suddenly deafened by loud shouts, screams and cheers from the other end of the phone.

...

In the end, the day that should've been a sad day for James, turned out to be the best day of his life... until his wedding... ;)

* * *

><p><em><strong>Dat winky face...<strong>_

**I kept with the 3rd person point of view from the second chapter... I hope no one minds too much.  
><strong>

**A happy ending to contrast with the bleak beginning: thank you for reading!**


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